Real Talk: Body Confidence

“Comparison is the thief of joy” – Theodore Roosevelt


When I first started this blog, I planned on it being just as much of a fashion and beauty blog as a personal one. I planned on tackling personal topics, and connecting with my readers on a level a bit deeper than just agreeing on the same foundation formulation. Looking back at my archives, I was disappointed to realize that I haven’t tackled too many personal issues on my blog up to this point. Last fall I did talk a bit about the funk I was in, (you can read that post HERE) but I decided I wanted to be able to open up to my readers a bit more often.

Today’s topic: Body Image/Confidence

Summer is upon us, and I know that body image is at the forefront of a lot of people’s minds. Thoughts regarding body image are by no means exclusive to summer, but something about bikini season tends to highlight insecurities. Well, it does for me at least.

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My body image is something I’ve struggled with all my life, and therefore something I continually work to improve. As a child, I was never the skinniest girl in class, and I definitely noticed. I started closely relating my self worth with my appearance, and my relationship with food quickly became defined by guilt.

As I got older, I realized my biggest enemy in the fight toward a positive body image was myself, and my constant internal monologue which was peppered with comparisons of me to everyone else. “My hips are bigger than hers, oh but my waist is smaller. She looks like she may weigh more and she’s wearing that sort of top, I guess I could get away with it then…?”

For awhile, I couldn’t meet anyone without analyzing their appearance and using it as a measuring stick against my own. I was aware of the dangerous cycle I was in, but I wasn’t sure how to stop it. And let’s face it, in a society where we use appearance to sell everything from food and drink products to clothing and magazine subscriptions, it’s a hard cycle to break. So, how am I breaking it?

4 Tips to a More Body Confident You:

  1. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others: Your only measuring stick should be you. Genetically speaking we all have different body types, and we all also lead a different lifestyle with varying priorities. Strive to be the best you that can be. Striving to be anyone else is futile because frankly, it’s impossible, and furthermore, it’s a huge disservice to yourself and others. When you constantly tear yourself down by comparing yourself to everyone else, you typically spend so much time trying to look and act like others, that you lose those qualities that make you unique.
  2. Don’t Tear Others Down: There is never a situation when tearing another person down helps to build you up. Never. Don’t do it. You’re wasting precious energy being negative about someone else, when you could be celebrating you. If you do find yourself judging someone else, try and think about what your feelings are actually about. Are you jealous? Could you instead celebrate this person, and work to improve yourself? I think women especially are often pitted against one another. We toss around phrases like, “Real girls have curves” as if that’s helping something. Real girls come in all shapes and sizes, and any and everyone can struggle with body confidence. Never assume that because someone looks skinnier or prettier in your eyes, that aren’t fighting your same battle.
  3. Give Genuine Compliments: This may seem weird, but I think genuinely celebrating the bodies of others, helps you to appreciate your own. In fact, you should also be complimenting yourself on a daily basis. Love yourself!
  4. Surround Yourself with Positive People: Try and assemble a group of friends that works to build each other up, and celebrates in each other’s accomplishments. These are the type of people that will help you to grow in yourself and not feed into your negativity. You want to be around people who love themselves and don’t need to dabble in negative talk about others to make themselves feel worthy. It quickly becomes a mob mentality thing and all of a sudden you have yourself convinced it’s OK to do because everyone else is doing it. Been there, done that, not anymore.

DSC_7136Bikini (Victoria’s Secret; similar)// Coverup (Forever 21; similar here// Sunnies (Ray-ban)

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Body confidence definitely doesn’t happen over night, but it’s something I am working very, very hard on. I want to enjoy life outside the confines of my insecurities and negative thoughts. It can be difficult at times because I think a lot of people assume that I don’t have any reason to be self conscious or negative about my body. I also think that as a blogger people assume I have all the confidence in the world. False on both accounts.

Minutes before these bikini pictures were taken I wanted to back out. I had just eaten, I thought I looked bloated, what would people on the beach think, no way I was using these in a post…but Ted convinced me to do it. And I’m proud I did. I love myself, and I love my body, and I want these pictures to inspire you to do the same. I want everyone to recognize that they are beautiful.

You are unique, there is only one you, and I want you to live your life proud of that, not consumed with a desire to look and be someone else.  So please, embrace yourself, love your body, and carry yourself through this life fiercely, and confidently.

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